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Not sure how to help a friend in an unhealthy relationship? It’s hard to sit back and watch a loved one get hurt. As a friend, you should be a supportive resource during this stressful time. However, this can be challenging if your friend is defensive or unaware of what’s going on, to begin with.
How to Help a Friend in an Unhealthy Relationship – 9 Tips to Remember
There’s never a better time to talk about helping women who face potential abuse than Women’s History Month. And while people need to make their own mistakes and come to their own conclusions, it’s not always as easy as that. This is why it won’t help to just tell them to leave. Break-ups are rarely that easy! But thankfully, there are some ways to offer support and comfort in their time of need.
In the journey towards nurturing healthier relationships, it’s crucial to empower ourselves with knowledge and tools. Exploring resources like Learning programs from Mindvalley can provide valuable insights without judgment, offering support and guidance for those seeking to help a friend in an unhealthy relationship.
1. Recognize the signs
Helping a friend starts with recognizing toxic relationship behaviors. Have they lost their joy and energy? Do they no longer enjoy the activities they once did? Are they disconnecting from friends and family? While many of these signs may be subtle, they can shed light on what’s going on with their relationship.
2. Be a good listener
First and foremost, you should always offer your friend an open ear. In some cases, they simply need to vent their feelings and emotions. Or in other cases, they may be looking for justification to end the relationship. Either way, it’s important that you let your friend know they can come to you with anything they need.
3. Check up on them often
Listening is only one aspect of helping a friend. It’s also good to be proactive about maintaining communication. Be selfless by going out of your way to ask them how they are doing. Call, text, or message them often for updates. If your friend is not opening up, talk about other topics until you can gently bring up the relationship issue. This reassures your friend that they have a loving and trustworthy companion they can rely on.
4. Remind them of their strengths
It’s common for people to feel inadequate when they’re in an unhealthy relationship. They probably aren’t being reassured by their partners, which can lead to mixed feelings of confidence. When talking to your friend, remind them of their good attributes. Building up their self-esteem may give them the strength they need to end the relationship.
5. Share your own experiences
If you’ve learned from a past mistake, share that experience with your friend. This allows them to see that it is possible to overcome such a difficult hurdle. Many people also become blinded by their own relationships. Hearing your own experience with an unhealthy partner may open their eyes to see what is truly acceptable or not, and let them know they’re not alone.
6. Don’t be judgmental
Sometimes, you just want to shake your friend and tell them how much you hate their partner. But no matter how many poor choices they have made, criticizing your friend is rarely helpful. Doing so will only create a divide and possibly prevent your friend from sharing more information. Instead of scolding them for their actions, ask questions that may help them reflect on their own situation.
7. But don’t be afraid to be honest
Even though you can’t force the break-up, you can be honest about your feelings. While the truth may be hard to hear, your friend will value your directness. But keep in mind that honesty is a fine line. You don’t want to overstep your boundaries and push your friend even further away. To prevent them from getting overwhelmed, voice your concerns gently and in a non-confrontational way. Some people may be completely unaware that they are in a bad relationship until someone tells them.
8. Plan activities
Bring positivity back into your friend’s life by planning healthy activities. Go for a hike, cook them a nice meal, or do a fun crafty activity together. By taking out of their element, they may recognize the unhealthy and toxic relationship they have at home.
9. Don’t stand for abuse
Knowing how to help a friend in an unhealthy relationship is even harder if abuse is involved. Physical or emotional abuse is never okay. Don’t turn a blind eye or make up excuses if you suspect that your friend is in an abusive situation. While you may not convince them to leave, you can offer support in other ways. It may be helpful to give them names and numbers of professional help or safety hotlines.
More Friendship Advice
It’s important to know how to help a friend in an unhealthy relationship. But that’s what friends are for. They’re there to pick you up when you’re feeling your worst so you can make better choices for the future.
The bottom line is that not everything is always as it seems. Some seemingly happy couples may not be so, and your friends should be able to count on you to check in on them!
